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TM - Disappointment / Disillusion
Feb. 26th, 2007 11:53 pmooc: going into the Ultimate 'verse for this one
There were many nights I would sit out on the other side of the lake, watching the small civilization in the Savage Lands that was known as home.
It was home, but yet, to me it never felt like it. It was a prison, one that while my feet could carry me far from it, i know I was never going to escape.
The Brotherhood. A mutant refuge, where the homosuperiors could come to live in peace, and not fear the persecutions of the human race. There was so much that could have been done, so much good that Father could have provided his people.
But instead he turned to terrorism. And me, I helped just because I wanted him to love me. Love me like the son I tried to be for him, and yet, he never saw.
I tried so hard, stepping over bounderies in my own personal code of ethics just to try and get his approval. But no. I was never good enough.
There was always something wrong with what I did. Something he would critique. Something he would point out, the bad outweighing the good I did for him. Nothing was perfect.
I could never be that son he wanted. I was a disappointment. The spurned puppy that he just kept kicking.
I guess he forgot the notion that you can only kick the dog so much, before he turns around to bite you.
I was a disappointment to him, but in reality, he was a disappointment to me. I loved my father, and I wanted to see him as a great man. But he isn't. He's just another hypocrit, and the Brotherhood ideal is really just a big disillusion.
There were many nights I would sit out on the other side of the lake, watching the small civilization in the Savage Lands that was known as home.
It was home, but yet, to me it never felt like it. It was a prison, one that while my feet could carry me far from it, i know I was never going to escape.
The Brotherhood. A mutant refuge, where the homosuperiors could come to live in peace, and not fear the persecutions of the human race. There was so much that could have been done, so much good that Father could have provided his people.
But instead he turned to terrorism. And me, I helped just because I wanted him to love me. Love me like the son I tried to be for him, and yet, he never saw.
I tried so hard, stepping over bounderies in my own personal code of ethics just to try and get his approval. But no. I was never good enough.
There was always something wrong with what I did. Something he would critique. Something he would point out, the bad outweighing the good I did for him. Nothing was perfect.
I could never be that son he wanted. I was a disappointment. The spurned puppy that he just kept kicking.
I guess he forgot the notion that you can only kick the dog so much, before he turns around to bite you.
I was a disappointment to him, but in reality, he was a disappointment to me. I loved my father, and I wanted to see him as a great man. But he isn't. He's just another hypocrit, and the Brotherhood ideal is really just a big disillusion.
